Why do nurses bully some physicians?

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of those quiet but insidious challenges to your authority, you know it’s not easy. You walk into the hospital each day carrying the weight of your training, your responsibilities, and the lives in your hands. And yet, despite your position, there can be moments when you feel subtly undermined by the very staff you work with—especially nurses. It’s not always direct. No one yells. No one openly challenges you. But perhaps a nurse delays your orders, questions your decisions in front of the team, or makes you feel like you’re not in control.

These small actions accumulate, like drops of water hollowing a stone. Over time, they can start to make even the most confident physicians second-guess themselves. You might ask, “Why me?” “Why is this happening?” It’s a feeling that’s all too familiar to many doctors I’ve worked with.

The Hidden Struggles of Female Physicians

For female physicians, this dynamic can be even more challenging. Gender biases still exist in many medical environments, even if they’re not talked about openly. Female doctors frequently face additional hurdles, with subtle undermining behaviors becoming a quiet but powerful force. A study in The Journal of General Internal Medicine (Frank, Brogan, & Schiffman, 1998) found that women physicians are far more likely to encounter passive resistance, questioning of their orders, or public challenges to their authority by nursing staff. These are not loud confrontations but rather subtle acts of defiance—like delaying an order or questioning your clarity in front of others. The erosion is slow, but it leaves its mark.

One female internist shared her experience at a New York hospital, where a senior nurse habitually delayed her orders and later questioned them in front of the team. The internist told me how those small moments, repeated over time, chipped away at her confidence. And she’s not alone. The British Medical Journal (Adams, 2020) highlights similar experiences across healthcare, showing how this kind of quiet undermining can leave female physicians feeling unsupported and unsure.

Why Are Some Physicians More Vulnerable to Bullying?

Even though you’ve worked hard, earned your credentials, and lead your team, physicians are not immune to the psychological effects of bullying. In fact, certain traits that make you successful—your perfectionism, your fear of failure, your commitment to doing things just right—can make you more vulnerable to the subtle undermining that some nurses employ.
In their book The Physician as Patient, Glen Gabbard and Michael Myers describe how doctors often struggle with low self-esteem beneath the surface of their professional success. This makes you especially sensitive to those moments of questioning or subtle resistance. Even the smallest challenge from a nurse can feel like a confirmation of your deepest fears—that maybe you’re not good enough.

This idea is reinforced by West et al. (2019), whose national survey found that bullying and harassment against physicians is more common than most might expect, especially in hierarchical settings. The study noted that these experiences not only erode confidence but also impact the mental health of physicians, leading to feelings of isolation and increased stress.
Consider the story of a junior surgeon at St. Thomas’ Hospital in London. He shared how a senior nurse repeatedly questioned his decisions during rounds. It wasn’t overtly aggressive; the nurse framed it as clarifications. But these interruptions, always in front of junior staff, began to take their toll. He found himself doubting his decisions, even when he knew he was right. His confidence crumbled one question at a time. His experience was documented in a British Medical Journal report (Smith, 2019).

Another example involved a female resident at a Boston hospital who experienced similar behavior from a senior nurse. The nurse frequently delayed orders, claiming confusion, which undermined the resident in front of her team. The resident began to question whether she had communicated clearly enough, though she knew she had. These passive-aggressive tactics left her feeling powerless and undermined, a pattern documented in The Journal of Nursing Management (Hutchinson et al., 2010).
A systematic review by Tian et al. (2020) confirms these patterns, highlighting that verbal and even physical abuse against physicians by nurses is more widespread than many realize. Their analysis showed that these behaviors often stem from power struggles or frustrations within the healthcare system. Still, the impact on doctors—both male and female—is profound, leading to a ripple effect on their professional and emotional well-being.

How to Take Back Control

You don’t have to live with that feeling of being undermined or second-guessed. The good news is, there are ways to address these dynamics and regain your confidence. Over the years, I’ve worked with physicians to help them navigate these challenging situations, and one thing is clear: It’s not just about reacting to the behavior—it’s about proactively owning your space and authority.
Through assertiveness coaching, I help doctors practice how to handle these subtle challenges. It’s not about being confrontational but rather about setting clear boundaries and maintaining your leadership in a way that commands respect. We work on real-life scenarios, often ones you’ve faced, so that when the next “clarification” or delayed order happens, you can address it directly without losing your composure. Using John Gottman’s conflict resolution strategies, you’ll learn to communicate to keep the team cohesive while maintaining your authority.

Reframing for Confidence

Beyond communication, one of the most important shifts I help physicians make is in reframing how they see these interactions. It’s easy to internalize the behavior of others, to believe that the nurse’s undermining actions are a reflection of your abilities. But the truth is, it often has more to do with the other person’s own issues—whether that’s frustration, jealousy, or insecurity.

For example, a female physician I coached was able to shift her mindset after several sessions. She had been dealing with a senior nurse who continually undermined her in front of others. By working together, she learned to reframe the situation—not as a personal attack on her competence, but as a reflection of the nurse’s own struggles. Once she could separate her emotional response from the behavior, she found that she could address it calmly and professionally, without letting it chip away at her confidence.

Moving Forward with Confidence

The goal of coaching isn’t just to survive these experiences, but to thrive in your role, reclaim your voice, and command the respect you deserve. It’s about recognizing your own authority and stepping into it fully. If any of this sounds familiar to you—if you’ve ever felt undermined or struggled to maintain your confidence in the face of subtle challenges—let’s talk. Together, we can work on building the skills and mindset you need to not just endure but excel in these complex team dynamics.

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